


Failed Attempt

by LysanderandHermia



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Goodbyes, I suppose, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Letters, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 04:03:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4904779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LysanderandHermia/pseuds/LysanderandHermia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim composes a letter for Sebastian on the day of the Fall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Failed Attempt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [poetofthefall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetofthefall/gifts).



~~Tiger,~~   ~~Seb,~~   ~~Sebastian,~~ Moran.

 ~~You're so wonderfully adorable when you try to follow along with my plans.~~   ~~You have no idea what I'm~~ You've always been clever. ~~Of course you'd figure it out.  
~~

I'm going to kill myself. Obviously. I know you know that, but you don't understand.  ~~That's okay.~~ You won't be happy when you get back. That's why I'm leaving this instead. 

Words are nice. They are final and fact and you can keep this with you. 

 ~~I hope it will help.~~ I know it won't help.

~~Sometimes I wish I could give this up and let him win, and take you on holiday. A long, long holiday.~~

You have been loyal. You have been good. You have to stay strong. 

Don't you dare follow me. You can't.

See, we're kinetic. You push, I pull. We're like that, don't you agree? The more you love me, the more I ~~try to~~ hate you.  ~~I hate the feelings you give me.~~

We are kinetic. You know what that means? If I kill myself, it's going to shove you just as firmly and fast in another direction, different and opposite, as surely as a bullet. 

Make sure you're pointing the right way when that happens, Tiger. Don't go on a spiral down.  ~~Don't you dare go back to your drink and gambling and smoking. I worked hard to get rid of those awful habits of yours.~~

Spiral up to my stars. Be good. ~~My good, strong, beautiful tiger.~~

~~I love you.~~

~~I love you.~~

I thought this would be simple to write. I've never had so much trouble with something before. I suppose that says more than anything. 

Hang onto the box you'll find with this for me, Seb. I tried to give it to you the other night when we went to dinner, but ~~then you started freaking out like usual when I hinted at my plans~~ then we had our fight. ~~I figured the timing would be bad. You'd approve. I hope. Maybe not. Whatever.~~

Don't tell anyone I went soft for you. I'd never live it down. ~~Then again, it doesn't matter anymore.~~

Goodbye, Tiger-mine.

~~I love you.~~

I love you.

Jim

**Author's Note:**

> This is the beginning of a 32 day writing prompt challenge my friend and I did. We wrote each other 32 prompts and have to write each day. LET'S RIDE THIS TRAIN OF FEELS TO HELL.
> 
> [[I wanted to keep writing, too, and give Seb's reaction but. Short and bittersweet this time.]]


End file.
